yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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