I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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