I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
