You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
