I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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