glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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