Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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