it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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