If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
