I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
