Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
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He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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