Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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