it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
