the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
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they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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