...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
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raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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