Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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