Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize