we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
