sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
