Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
