Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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