This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
