We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
