i just google imaged poop.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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