thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
