oh god the rape fog is back!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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