Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
