I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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