I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
