Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
