My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Randomize
