Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize