I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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