He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
