just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
