My brain says no but my pants say off.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
MIDGETS
????
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
