their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
