When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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