problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
