was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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