I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize