Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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