no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
