Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
