His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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