what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
