i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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