We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
