So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
