also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we made out on top of his cat.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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