wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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