it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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