final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
