Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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