you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
