Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
