I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
