we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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