Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
