oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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