I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
