he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
