I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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