Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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