apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Randomize
