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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What?!

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  What did you cook with whisky?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We started a fire.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does

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• (607): View more from New York

  You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (561): View more from Florida

  But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I need vitamin water and Jesus :/

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• (631): View more from New York

  Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!

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