Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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(310): View more from California

This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

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(315): View more from New York

I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(810): View more from Michigan

I wanna throw up and cum in that order

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.

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(585): View more from New York

I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away

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(248): View more from Michigan

Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?

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