you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.