the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes