But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Mom said you looked used
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
