We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
