I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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