I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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