My brain says no but my pants say off.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
